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natesthesedays.Simon,empaneled,isknockedoffamurdercase,empaneledagain,isknockedoffarapecase."Thedefendantisaccusedofsexualmisconduct,"theblondwomanjudgetellsthejurors."Willthedefendantstandupsothatthejurorscanseehim?"Thedefendantstandsandalmostinvoluntarilytakesalittlebow.Whentheattorneys,questioningSimoninthejurybox,askhimwhatheis,hesaysheisanarchitect.Atthelunchbreakonthethirdday,hemeets,inaclusteroffastfoodstandsinalittleparknearthecourt?houses,ared-hairedwomanwhosayssheisapoet.

    THEthreewomenlookedforjobsbutwereturneddownbyBendel,Bergdorf,Bloomingdales,Lord&Taylor,CharlesJourdan,Ungaro,Altmans,Saks,Macys.Theytriedallthemodelingagencies,startingwithFordandworkingtheirwaydownthelist.Simondesignedandhadprintedcompositesforthemandtheylefttheseateveryadagencyofanysizeinthecity.Theyappliedforsubstituteteacherpositionsbutfoundthisaclosedshop,theyneededNewYorkStatecredentialswhichtheydidnthave.Inamomentofdes?perationtheyfiledapplicationsfortheFireDepart?mentbutweretoldtheyweresofardownonthelistthattheyhadnoreasonablehopeofconsiderationbe?fore1999,whentheywouldbetoooldtobegintrain?ing.

    AnneandVeronicaarefighting.

    "Stupidbitch!"

    "Asshole!"

    "Cmon,guys,"Simonsays."Whatsthedeal?"

    "Shesamother**erandadumbmother**er,"Annesays."Crummycheaposlut."

    "Lookwhostalking,"Veronicasays,jumpingoutofAnnesreach."MissCuntof1986."

    "Whatsthisabout?Whatstheissue?"

    "Simonyoureso**ingreasonable,"Veronicasays,sittingdownonthecouch.

    "Isay,whatsgoingon?"

    "Shegotusajob,"Annesays.

    "Terrific,"saysSimon."Whatsthejob?"

    "Convention.TheNationalSprinklerAssociation.AttheAmericana.Wehavetostandunderthesethingsandgetsprinkled.Iwontdoit."

    "Whatiftheygaveusraincoats?"

    "Itsnotraincoatstheywanttosee."

    "WhatifIsaidtransparentplasticraincoats?"

    "Imightdoitwithtransparentplasticraincoats."

    "Illcalltheguyandseewhathesays.Itstwohun?dredeach."

    "Raincoatsandbodystockings."

    "Nothrillinbodystockings."

    "Letthemusetheirvileimaginations."

    "Ijustfeellikeabody."

    "WhatinGodsnamedoyouthinktheywant?"

    "Iknow,Iknow."

    "Lookatitthisway,"Simonsays."Abodyisagift.Agreatbodyisagreatgift."

    "AllIneed.AUnitarianminister."

    "Youdonthavetotakethejob."

    "Wedonthaveanymoney."

    "Youwantmetomakealittlepileofmoneyandburnitrighthereonthefloor?Theresenoughmoneyaround.Takeiteasy.Waituntilyoufindsomethingyouwant."

    "Wereconcubines."

    "Youcanmakeeverythingsoundasterribleasyouwant,"Simonsays."Imgoingtobed."

    "Whowith?"

    Simonswifeslawyersletterarrivesandoutlinesherdemands:Shewantsfullcustodyofthechild,thePineStreethouse,bothcars,sixty-fivethousanddollarsayearinalimony,childsupportatalevelconsonantwiththechildspreviousstyleoflife,fiftypercentofallre?tirementfunds,IRA,Keoghandthefirms,fiftyper?centofhispartnershipinterestinthefirminperpetuity,andfiftypercentofalloddsandendsofstocks,bonds,cashandrealpropertynotsubsumableunderoneofthepreviousrubrics.TheclienthasbeenseverelydamagedinallwaysbySimonsdesertionandtheyearsoffiendishabusethathadprecededit,thelet?tersuggests.

    "Whatareyougoingtodo?"Veronicaasks.

    "Giveittoher,Iguess."

    "Wereyoureallythatbad?"

    "Hemaybeoverstatingitabit."

    "Wearepureskin."

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