The Big Broadcast of 1938
The Big Broadcast of 1938 (第3/3页)
sntsoundveryAmericantome."
"Coo,"hesaid."Whatkindofanexpressionisthat?"
"Ihearditinamovie,"shesaid."AConradVeidtmovie."
"Well,"hesaid,"itsdistracting."
ThisconversationwasfeltbyBloomsburytobenotverysatisfactory,howeverhebidedhistime,havingifthetruthwereknownnoalternative.Thewordmatriculatehadengagedhisattention,hepronounceditintothemicrophoneforwhatseemedtohimaperiodlongerthannormal,thatistosay,inexcessofaquarter-hour.Hewonderedwhetherornottoregardthisassignificant.
ItwasafactthatBloomsbury,whohadthoughthimselfdispassionate(thusthewords,themusic,theslowturningoverinhisbrainofeventsinthelivesofhimandher),wasbeginningtofeel,atthistime,disturbed.Thiswasattributableperhapstotheeffect,onhim,ofhisradiotalks,andalsoperhapstothepresenceofthe"fan,"orlistener,inthereceptionroom.Orpossiblyitwassomethingelseentirely.Inanycasethisdisturbancewasreflected,beyondadoubt,intheannouncementsmadebyhiminthedaysthat,inevitably,followed.
Oneofthesewas:
"Thedetailsofourhousekeeping,yoursandmine.Thescuffunderthebed,thefuginthecorners.Iwould,ifIcould,sightorememberthem.Youplantedpricklypearintheparlorfloor,andwhenguestscameOh,youwereaone!Youveiledyourselffromme,therewerepartsIcouldhaveandpartsIcouldnthave.Andtheruleswouldchange,Iremember,inthemiddleofthegame,Icouldneverbesurewhichpartswereallowedandwhichnot.SomedaysIcouldnthaveanythingatall.Isitremarkable,then,thattherehasneverbeenanother?Exceptforafew?Whodontcount?
"Therehas,Idontdoubt,neverbeenanythinglikeit.Thebed,yourmothersbed,broughttoourunionwithyourmotherinit,shelaylikeaswordbetweenus.Ihadthegalltoaskwhatyouwerethinking.Itwasoneofthosewonderfuldaysofimprablesilence.Well,Isaid,andthechild?Upthechild,yousaid,twasntwhatIwantedanyway.Whatthendidyouwant?Iasked,andthechildcried,itsworstforebodingsconfirmed.Pish,yousaid,nothingyoucouldsupply.Maybe,Isaid.Notbloodylikely,yousaid.Andwhereisit(thechild)now?Gone,Idontdoubt,away.
"Areyouwithme,oldbush?
"Areyoutunedin?
"Amancame,inahat.Inthehatwasalittlefeather,andinadditiontothehatandthefeathertherewasasatchel.Jack,thisismyhusband,yousaid.Andtookhimintothebedroom,andturnedthekeyinthelock.Whatareyoudoinginthere?Isaid,thedoorbeinglocked,youandhetogetherontheinside,mealoneontheoutside.Goawayandmindyourownsillybusiness,yousaid,frombehindthedoor.Yes,Jacksaid(frombehindthedoor),goawayanddontbebotheringpeoplewiththingsontheirminds.Insensitivebrute!yousaid,andJacksaid,filthycad!Somepeople,yousaid,andJacksaid,thecheekofthething.Iwatchedatthedooruntilnightfall,butcouldhearnomorewords,onlysoundsofacuriousnature,suchasgruntsandmoans,andsighs.Uponhearingthese(throughthedoorwhichwas,asIsay,locked),IimmediatelyrushedtotheattictoobtainourcopyofIdealMarriage,byTh.H.VanDeVelde,M.D.,todeterminewhetherthissituationwastreatedoftherein.Butitwasnot.Ithereforeabandonedthebookandreturnedtomystationoutsidethedoor,whichremained(andindeedwhynot?)shut.
"Atlengththedooropened,yourmotheremerged,lookingastheysayputout.Butshehadalwaystakenyourpartasopposedtomypart,thereforeshesaidonlythatIwasacommonsneak.But,Isaid,whatofthosewhoevennowsitinthebed?laughingandjoking?Donttrytoteachthygrandmothertochewcoal,shesaid.Ithenbecame,ifyoucanbelieveit,melancholy.Couldnotwetwoskins,youandme,climbandclingforallthedaysthatwereleft?Whichwerenot,afterall,soverymanydays?WithouttheinterpolationofsuchasJack?And,nodoubt,othersyettocome?"
Aftercompletingthisannouncementandplacing"TheStar-SpangledBanner"ontheturntable,andacupofsouponthehotplate,Bloomsburyobservedthatthegirlinthereceptionroomwasmakingmotionswithherhands,theburdenofwhichwas,thatshewantedtospeaktohim.
"NexttoMr.VeidtmyfavoritestarwasCarmenLambrosa,"shesaid."Whatismore,Iamsaidtoresembleherinsomeaspects."
"Which?"Bloomsburyaskedwithinterest."Whichaspects?"
"ItwassaidofCarmenLambrosathathadshejustlivedalittlelonger,andnotdiedfromalcohol,shewouldhavebeenthetopboxofficemoney-makerintheBritishCameroons.Wheresuchassheandmeareappreciated."
"Thetopboxofficemoney-makerforwhatyear?"
"Theyearisnotimportant,"shesaid."Whatisimportantistheappreciation."
"Iwouldsayyoufavoredher,"Bloomsburyobserved,"hadIsomeknowledgeofherpeculiarities."
"DoIimpressyou?"
"Inwhatway?"
"Asapossiblepartner?SexuallyImean?"
"Ihaventconsideredit,"hesaid,"heretofore."
"TheysayImsexy,"shenoted.
"Idontdoubtit,"hesaid."Imeanitsplausible."
"Iamyours,"shesaid,"ifyouwantme."
"Yes,"hesaid,"theresthedifficulty,makingupmymind."
"Youhaveonly,"shesaid,"tomaketheslightestgestureofacquiescence,suchasanod,aword,acough,acry,akick,acrook,agiggle,agrin."
"ProbablyIwouldnotenjoyit,"hesaid,"now."
"ShallItakeoffmyclothes?"sheasked,makingmotionsasiftodoso.
Withasinglestride,suchashehadoftenseenpracticedinthefilms,Bloomsburywas"atherside."
"Martha,"hesaid,"oldskin,whycantyoulettheolddaysdie?Thatwerethendaysofanger,passion,anddignity,butarenow,inthelightofpresentstandards,practices,andattitudes,daysthataredone?"
Uponthesewordsfromhim,shebegantoweep."Youlookedinterestedatfirst,"shesaid(throughhertears).
"Itwaskindofyoutotryit,"hesaid."Thoughtful.Asamatteroffact,youweremostappealing.Tempting,even.Iwasfooledforwholemomentsatatime.Youlookwellinbullfighterpants."
"Thankyou,"shesaid."YousaidIhadagrandbehind.Yousaidthatatleast."
"Andsoyoudo."
"Youcantforget,"sheasked,"aboutDudley?"
"Dudley?"
"Dudleywhowasmypossiblelover,"shesaid.
"BeforeorafterJack?"
"Dudleywhoinfactbrokeupourménage,"shesaid,lookingathimexpectantly.
"Well,"hesaid,"Isuppose."
"Tellmeaboutthejoyagain."
"Therewassomejoy,"Bloomsburysaid."Icantdenyit."
"Wasitreallylikeyousaid?Somberandparadoxical?"
"Itwasallofthat,"hesaidgallantly,"then."
"Then!"shesaid.
Therewasamomentofsilenceduringwhichtheylistened,thoughtfully,to"TheStar-SpangledBanner"playingsoftlyintheotherroombehindthem.
"Thenweare,astheysay,through?"sheasked."Thereisnohopeforus?"
"None,"hesaid."ThatIknowof."
"Youvefoundsomebodyyoulikebetter?"
"Itsnotthat,"hesaid."Thathasnothingtodowithit."
"Balls,"shesaid."Iknowyouandyourletchyways."
"Goodbye,"Bloomsburysaid,andreturnedtothecontrolroom,lockingthedoorbehindhim.
Hethenresumedbroadcasting,withperhapsatremorbutnoslackeninginhisresolvenottoflog,astheexpressionruns,adeadhorse.Howevertheelectriccompany,whichhadnotbeenpaidfromthefirsttothelast,refusedatlengthtosupplyfurthercurrentfortheradio,inconsequenceofwhichthebroadcasts,bothwordsandmusic,ceased.ThatwastheendofthisperiodofBloomsburys,astheysay,life.
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