I AM A WOMAN
I AM A WOMAN (第1/3页)
(，最好的文章网 Icanhearyourobjectionsalready:“MydearStorytellerEffendi,youmightbeabletoimitateanyoneoranything,butneverawoman!”YetIbegtodiffer.True,I’vewanderedfromcitytocity,imitatingeverythingintotheweehoursofthenightatweddings,festivalsandcoffeehousesuntilmyvoicegaveout,andthusitwasnevermylottomarry,butthisdoesn’tmeanI’munacquaintedwithwomenfolk.
Iknowwomenquitewell;infact,I’veknownfourpersonally,seentheirfacesandspokenwiththem:1.mymother,maysheresternalpeace;2.mybelovedaunt;3.thewifeofmybrother(healwaysbeatme),whosaid“Getout!”ononeofthoserareoccasionswhenIsawher—shewasthefirstwomanIfellinlovewith;and4.aladyIsawsuddenlyatanopenwindowinKonyaduringmytravels.Despiteneverhavingspokenwithher,I’venursedfeelingsoflusttowardherforyearsandstilldo.Perhaps,bynow,she’spassedaway.
Seeingawoman’sbareface,speakingtoher,andwitnessingherhumanityopensthewaytobothpangsoflustanddeepspiritualpaininusmen,andthusthebestofallalternativesisnottolayeyesonwomen,especiallyprettywomen,withoutfirstbeinglawfullywed,asournoblefaithdictates.Thesoleremedyforcarnaldesiresistoseekoutthefriendshipofbeautifulboys,asatisfactorysurrogateforfemales,andinduetime,this,too,becomesasweethabit.InthecitiesoftheEuropeanFranks,womenroamaboutexposingnotonlytheirfaces,butalsotheirbrightlyshininghair(aftertheirnecks,theirmostattractivefeature),theirarms,theirbeautifulthroats,andeven,ifwhatI’veheardistrue,aportionoftheirgorgeouslegs;asaresult,themenofthosecitieswalkaboutwithgreatdifficulty,embarrassedandinextremepain,because,yousee,theirfrontsidesarealwayserectandthisfactnaturallyleadstotheparalysisoftheirsociety.Undoubtedly,thisiswhyeachdaytheFrankinfidelsurrendersanotherfortresstousOttomans.
Afterrealizing,whilestillayouth,thatthebestrecipeformyspiritualhappinessandcontentmentwastolivefarfrombeautifulwomen,Igrewincreasinglycuriousaboutthesecreatures.Atthattime,sinceIhadn’tseenanywomenbesidesmymotherandmyaunt,mycuriosityassumedamysticalquality,myheadseemedtotingle,andIknewthatIcouldonlylearnhowwomenfeltifIdidwhattheydid,atewhattheyate,saidwhattheysaid,imitatedtheirbehaviorand,yes,onlyifIworetheirclothes.Therefore,oneFriday,whenmymother,father,olderbrotherandauntwenttomygrandfather’srosegardenonthe
shoresoftheFahreng,ItoldthemIwasfeelingillandstayedathome.
“Comealong.Look,you’llentertainusbymimickingthedogs,treesandhorsesinthecountry.What’llyoudohereallalone,anyway?”saidmymother,maysherestinpeace.
“I’mgoingtoputonyourdressesandbecomeawoman,dearmother,”wasanimpossibleanswer.SoIsaid,“Mystomachhurts.”
“Don’tbesuchacoward,”saidmyfather.“Comealongandwe’llwrestle.”
Ishallnowdescribetoyou,mypainterandcalligrapherbrethren,exactlywhatIfeltoncethey’dleftandIdonnedtheunderclothesanddressesbelongingtomynowdearlydepartedmotherandaunt,aswellasthesecretsIlearnedthatdayaboutbeingawoman.Letmefirststateforthrightthatcontrarytowhatwe’v
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